Billy and I had planned to get married two months ago but little bump made us postpone the ceremony until he was born. I told Devlin on the drive home as I rubbed my belly. How did it happen? I asked staring at him. A drunk driver ran the lights and hit him full on, on his bike, he really had no chance against the jeep. I am so sorry, Jessica. he put his hand on my hand squeezing it a little. **** —– **** Mama…, Mamma…, Zachs voice brought me back to sitting in the car soaked through like I was that day Billy died. Hmm baby…whats wrong? I asked looking in the rear view mirror. Can we go to the swing park? he grinned. Its a little wet for that, is it not? I smiled. Were already wet Mama. A little bit more wont kill us. It will be fun. Pleassssse? He smiled his cute little smile. Well… I guess so… What do you think Maria? I turned to her. Sounds good to me. I smiled as I started the car and drove to the swing park. —– That night when Zak was in bed, I cracked open a bottle of wine. But lately, for the past few weeks, months even…if I wanted sex, I’d be lucky to be given permission to jerk off. What happened? A lot of things, actually. Pregnancies, kids, bills, work…all the little nuisances in life. My biggest fear, however, has been that she just no longer found me interesting, attractive, and/or good enough to have sex with. Or worse- she may just no longer be interested in sex herself! It really became worrisome when I thought of the possible long-term affects- were we really going to be those kind of couples? You know the type: the ones who only have sex on special occasions, like anniversaries or birthdays, or who force sex on predetermined days just so that they could say that they still have it. I would have done it, of course…I love my wife. I, like most people, have my limits, but this is something I wouldn’t fight her on. It would have been a big pill to swallow, but if I would give my life for this woman, then what is sex, really? Fortunately, things.
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